Yesterday, Kelly (my husband) and I were talking about taking risks. Making decisions that can either give great success or set you back for a few weeks, or months, or years. Doing the things that are absolutely terrifying and vulnerable. Inviting the possibility of pain and difficulty into your life with the hope that something beautiful will happen instead.
I’m naturally averse to ambiguity. I love schedules and planning, knowing where to be and when to be there. I love checking things off lists and being productive. Consistency, stability, knowing what to expect gives me mental rest. Surprise, surprise, most of life is uncertain, and for me, anything that’s outside of comfort is considered risk. Which brought me to realize that some of the decisions that I deemed risky were actually a piece of cake for Kelly. They weren’t something he’d have difficulty doing, or really anything he had interest in doing.
In some ways, I’m thankful that “little” risks are actually huge risks to me, that I could be stretched every day if I wanted. I’m thankful for the way Kelly encourages me to do things on my own so I can grow. I’ve even started ordering my own food at restaurants and projecting my voice! (Like I said, little risks to some are huge to others.)
Honestly, I think this choice to move to Nashville last August was risky at the time, and each day that we’re here is filled with unknowns. In a city where people are either brand new, or itching to leave, the idea of making intentional friendships is risky. Yet, I’ve chosen to meet new people and listen to their stories. I’ve chosen to tell my own story knowing people may not relate or understand, but with the hope that someone might. So whether I know what I'm getting into, or making split-second, "on a whim” decisions, my environment has pushed me to do scary things. I know this is how I’m meant to grow. Risks allow me to see people the way my Father does. This is the way He stretches me and aligns my heart to His. I'm learning to let that be enough. I'm learning to let that sustain me when uncertainty arises.