Equilibrium | Floral Illustration 002 + Story

April 26, 2018 Frani Beard

I talk about my dreams with assurance. I believe in them. I take chances in life and relationship and art and words.

I see the dignity in people now and forgive easily and give more grace. Even to myself.

I’m less likely to beat myself up over the burdens I couldn’t bear. Sometimes you drop the things you’re carrying when the weight is too heavy or when you hold too many things.

I’m releasing the pressure.

I don’t stick to plans for the plan’s sake anymore. I allow myself flexibility so I can hear the moment and be there.

I’m learning how to exist.

And breathe.

And recognize myself.

I started taking my time and giving myself margin, so I don’t feel the pressure of time like I used to.

I give my body what it needs like food and sleep and warmth.

I look in the mirror, and I love my face and its shapes and proportions. It’s just a shell and I’m more beautiful when I take care of my soul.

I don’t need more than what I have. I might need less. I am grateful though.

My husband is sleeping, and he loves me. He sacrifices for me, and he’s gentle to me. He speaks to me with tenderness and respect. He speaks to me with an honest heart and pure intentions.

All this truth spoken is my true self. It’s a woman who isn’t afraid. A woman who laughs and cries and feels and calculates and plans and dreams and is not bound by this world and its eyes.

She is known and loved and adored,

So she keeps forward motion.

And I realized I wasn’t scared of the same things anymore.

Hey there!

Thanks for reading the story behind the art. Thanks for processing thoughts with me and helping my heart stay soft and open. This print is available in my Etsy shop! There's even a sticker version that might sell out really quickly. (LOL)

Much love for you,

Frani

check out the shop

LESSONS LEARNED

Apr 26, 2018

Equilibrium | Floral Illustration 002 + Story

Apr 26, 2018

Dec 8, 2017

An Introduction | Floral Illustration 001

Dec 8, 2017

Dec 1, 2017

Lessons from November

Dec 1, 2017

An Introduction | Floral Illustration 001

December 8, 2017 Frani Beard

Father,

I don’t know what season I’m in or how I’m to grow from this. My mind knows truth, but my heart is aching still. Vigor and excitement for Your love have escaped me, and I find myself unsure about where to find abiding joy.

And I realized that I don’t feel like myself because I’m changing. I don’t know myself because I’m not who I used to be. There’s dissonance. My heart is changing.

FloralIllustration001_AnIntroduction_astrantia_garden rose_eucalyptus_carnation_cosmos_anemone

My needs are changing.

I used to think I needed consistency & routine. And maybe I still do. But I’ve settled for just whatever routine came my way, rather than intentionally creating one that fills my soul.

I need rest. I need space. I need a day for myself to feel clean and beautiful. I need to sit in the quiet.

But I also need to let go so I can adjust. My expectations of myself need to change.

I need to learn to ask for help.

I need to start cutting excess out of my life.

And I realized I was happiest when cultivating a home. So I guess this is where I'll start.

FloralIllustration001_AnIntroduction_astrantia_garden rose_eucalyptus_carnation_cosmos_anemone_01

F L O W E R S | astrantia, garden rose, eucalyptus, carnation, cosmos, & anemone

Hey, sweet friend!

Thanks for entering into my mind! Thanks for discovering a bit about my heart. These thoughts were swirling in my head as I drew the illustration now available in my shop. More to come as I embark on this journey of learning about myself, exploring my dreams, and agreeing with the little nudges God places in my heart.

Love, Frani

LESSONS LEARNED

Dec 1, 2017

Lessons from November

Dec 1, 2017

Nov 17, 2017

Lessons from October

Nov 17, 2017

Oct 11, 2017

Lessons from September

Oct 11, 2017

Jul 28, 2017

Lessons from July

Jul 28, 2017

Lessons from November

December 1, 2017 Frani Beard

This is what November taught me:

I realized I don’t know myself very well these days. I’ve been changing, & I haven’t taken the time to get to know the woman I’m becoming.

I think it’s about time I took the pressure off myself. His yoke is easy; His burden is light.

Lessons from October

November 17, 2017 Frani Beard

This is what October taught me:

My mind wants diligence. My soul wants rest. And I don’t know how to marry the two.

Candles and lamps are the key to coziness when you live in an apartment home. Heck, they make any space more cozy.

Lessons from September

October 11, 2017 Frani Beard

This is what September taught me:

I discovered that I can do “nothing” (productivity-wise) without feeling anxious if I’m holding a baby. They are precious and live in the present. They’re not afraid to tell you that they need something. I want to be like them in that way.

“Trust the wait. Enjoy the beauty of becoming. When nothing is certain, anything is possible.” | Mandy Hale |

“God made truth a relationship, not an idea. When you’re in the presence of truth people aren’t treated poorly.”

Lessons from August

September 1, 2017 Frani Beard

This is what August taught me:

I realized that life’s circumstances often heighten my need to nurture. I have this tendency to step into “motherly” roles when they are not needed. I’m learning to check my motives before I try to be “helpful”, because in reality, this stage of life doesn’t need me as a mother. It needs me as a wife and a friend.

Although, this was a great time to start nannying again, because baby snuggles make life SO much better.

Lessons from July

July 28, 2017 Frani Beard

This is what July taught me:

[I read Ecclesiastes this month and took new perspective. I think that melancholy book is actually a guide to joy & a recipe for remaining present, so there might be a bit of a theme to this one.]

Make the most of today; God deals out joy in the present.

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.

Celebrate where you are right now. Enjoy who you are right now.

Lessons from June

June 30, 2017 Frani Beard

This is what June taught me:

It’s okay to ask for what you need. It’s okay to say no and set boundaries without feeling guilty.

Every time you try something new, you learn something. Every time you do something differently, you learn something.

I’m learning how to avoid the internalization of discouraging or disappointing situations. The choices of others do not change my identity, my value, or my worth.

God always provides. This is something I have to learn over and over, but I know it’s important and true. We always have just enough. It’s like manna or something, because we never have extra, only what we need for the day.

Lessons from May

May 26, 2017 Frani Beard

This is what May taught me:

Gratitude is the only way to deeply enjoy the moment. Stay present.

“It is not having what you want; it’s wanting what you've got.” | Sheryl Crow |

I’m learning that prayer is less about asking the Father for things I want Him to do for me, and more about asking Him how to be aware of Him. He’s always up to something, and it’s always good.

C E A S E

May 19, 2017 Frani Beard

I woke up this morning with a MASSIVE list of to-do’s— neglected house chores, prep for upcoming events and general work for my business. Oh, and apparently “be fearful and worried about your money” was on that list too. That one has a tendency to sneak in because it’s such a habit for me to be anxious.

S U S T A I N

April 21, 2017 Frani Beard

The past few months have been tight for us financially. Our jobs can be inconsistent, and people, unreliable. Yet, somehow we have all that we need. I think about David’s reflections in Psalm 23, when he remembers that God is true to His name, and he doesn’t have to be afraid. I fall back on Jesus's words in Matthew 6, when He tells me, “Do not worry. Focus on me and the peace I have for you. Seek my kingdom, my perspective. Remember who provides all things.”

Lessons from March

March 31, 2017 Frani Beard

This is what March taught me:

In order to move forward, I have to admit that the woman I am now doesn’t actually want the things she used to.

I’m addicted to productivity and I have no idea what rest looks like. Stopping when things aren’t finished gives me stress. And the truth is, in this life, nothing will ever be finished. There will always be a new-old thing.

You can do the bare minimum. You can give yourself a break, and the world will still spin.

C O N T R O L

March 24, 2017 Frani Beard

I wake up at 8am. I let the sun burn through the blinds. I roll over. My husband is next to me. I shut off my alarm. I crawl back in bed. I scroll.

My stomach growls. I think about breakfast. Pancakes. Oatmeal. A smoothie.

I fall back asleep. Now, I don’t have time for a smoothie.

I wash my face. I brush my teeth. I wear sweatpants, my hair on top of my head.

I turn on the kettle. I steep the tea. Honey. Milk. Stir.

I draw. Write. Breathe. Scroll.

Lessons from February

March 3, 2017 Frani Beard

Three year olds have this way of giving perspective just by existing. They learn new words. They try new things. They aren’t scared of failing or getting something wrong. They do what makes them happy.

I remember playing music and writing songs more than I do now. I miss it.

CALL. YOUR. GRANDPARENTS. (They miss you.)

If flowers make you happy, buy them. Paint them. Look at pictures of them. (I can’t help myself sometimes...)

R I S K

February 24, 2017 Frani Beard

Yesterday, Kelly (my husband) and I were talking about taking risks. Making decisions that can either give great success or set you back for a few weeks, or months, or years. Doing the things that are absolutely terrifying and vulnerable. Inviting the possibility of pain and difficulty into your life with the hope that something beautiful will happen instead.

Hey there!

Thanks for reading the story behind the art. Thanks for processing thoughts with me and helping my heart stay soft and open. This print is available in my Etsy shop! There's even a sticker version that might sell out really quickly. (LOL)

Much love for you,

Frani

Father,

I don’t know what season I’m in or how I’m to grow from this. My mind knows truth, but my heart is aching still. Vigor and excitement for Your love have escaped me, and I find myself unsure about where to find abiding joy.

And I realized that I don’t feel like myself because I’m changing. I don’t know myself because I’m not who I used to be. There’s dissonance. My heart is changing.

My needs are changing.

I used to think I needed consistency & routine. And maybe I still do. But I’ve settled for just whatever routine came my way, rather than intentionally creating one that fills my soul.

I need rest. I need space. I need a day for myself to feel clean and beautiful. I need to sit in the quiet.

But I also need to let go so I can adjust. My expectations of myself need to change.

I need to learn to ask for help.

I need to start cutting excess out of my life.

And I realized I was happiest when cultivating a home. So I guess this is where I'll start.

BLOG BY FRANI BEARD

CREATED IN DENVER, COLORADO.